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But when Montecillo reached the section that asked for his ethnicity, he hesitated.Montecillo, whose parents are Filipino, was born in New York and spent 13 years living in Hong Kong.Alan Montecillo logged on to Ok Cupid and started filling out his profile.He wrote down his height (6 feet), listed his interests (podcasts, basketball, reading) and included photos of himself outdoors.A little over a year later, Maltempo married a woman he met on the site.

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“Dialogue rather than just messaging.” At first, Maltempo’s wife, Xue Jiang, was unimpressed by his messages. So I dumped him.] In a recent online survey of 900 Asian American men, Liu found that Asian men frequently feel stereotyped as lacking masculinity; they also said they’re perceived as undesirable and as too passive.Part of the problem, she says, is that the white American man has become the standard for what is attractive. There are few Asian American male leads in Hollywood, and only recently have more Asian characters been cast as love interests.The TV shows “Master of None” and “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend,” for example, stand out for pairing Asian men with white women.

“I know sometimes Asian men are not considered attractive, just because we don’t have many examples of Asian men in the media to be considered attractive,” Maltempo said.

Tao Liu, a doctorate student in counseling psychology at Indiana University, has measured how Asian American men experience gendered racism.



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