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“I think there is this bias that women don’t cheat for sexual reasons at all,” Hertlein says.“Women are supposed to be the nurturers and the matriarchs in our society.” Due to the secretive nature of online affairs, reliable statistics are hard to find, but a 2005 study of 1,828 Web users in Sweden offers evidence about the prevalence of cybersex and online affairs. A 2008 Australian study offers more insight into Internet affairs. More than half of the respondents believed an online relationship constituted unfaithfulness, with the numbers climbing to 71 percent for cybersex and 82 percent for in-person meetings.He is very secretive about her and doesn’t let me see what she writes to him.My husband gets very angry when I tell him how much this hurts me.“On the Internet, you can be whoever you want to be. You don’t have to be this constrained person you think you should be.” Fantasy also is a huge factor in online affairs, and fantasy always trumps reality.“Your primary partner will never be able to compare with the fantasy partner,” Hertlein says.Your marriage and your friendship take precedence over any “female” friend (or whatever). This is a relationship at the very least and definitely wrong for a married man to participate in. Please contact AACC for a referral to a counseling professional in your area.He is destroying the trust, intimacy and commitment in your marriage. If he refuses to go to counseling with you, ask him to see your pastor about this.
While men traditionally have been the more unfaithful sex, gender roles are reversing in some cases as more women experience cybersex.“It’s not just that you’re communicating with someone online but that there is a sexual or emotional nature,” says Katherine Hertlein, Ph D, an associate professor at the University of Nevada in Las Vegas who studies online affairs.