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The mental challenges with Spinal Cord Injury are the most daunting to me.
A very large challenge in my life is actually FEAR: fear of getting another pressure sore if I do not take excellent care of my skin, fear of gaining weight, fear of caregivers leaving, fear of my catheter blocking at the most inopportune moment, and so much more.
But there's a lot I can still do in the bedroom, and I still think our sex life is better than the average married couple's.
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I work day and night on relaxation techniques to help me live a happy and fulfilled life.
I would say I manage pretty well, but there is not a moment that goes by in a day that I am not constantly thinking three steps ahead with respect to planning for the worst but hoping for the best.
You get endorphins, you feel the same signals in your brain pleasure-wise, I get the messages. My mind really did kind of get set on getting there, and sometimes, looking back, I wasn't always in the moment. At this point, it's about feeling all those pleasure zones as they happen, and not just waiting for the big climax. I'm not gonna say it's so much better — I miss orgasms. I can do it from the side, like being embraced, or on my stomach.
And most girls like to be kissed on their neck, but now it's an ultra sensitive spot for me. One reason I'm very upfront and overshare about this is because it's such a misconception that people in wheelchairs can't have sex or be sexy — and they're just lying there, so how can that be sexy?
So that's why I'm kind of able to tell when I'm having sex and still feel aroused. But one positive difference, I would say, is that before the accident, it was always about having the orgasm. But as far as positions go, it's much easier to do missionary obviously with my legs — you'd hold them back, but what I do is kind of wrap my arms around my legs to make it easier.
It was chilly, so I was hesitating, and my friend playfully came up behind me and pushed me into the pool. Thank god I protected my head with my hands, but I went in at bad angle and broke my neck. I was in the ICU for 10 days and then I went to rehab for about 2 ½ months. Chris was by my side the whole time, no matter what. People are like, "It's amazing that he stayed with you!