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11-Jun-2016 05:20

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The third requisite for a successful relationship is to find support when required from those in similar relationships, via internet forums or other groups, or professionals working with Asperger Syndrome couples.'He/she always puts himself first' - complaints that their Asperger Syndrome partner is selfish. This is a lack of understanding of Theory of Mind and empathy, which affects those with Asperger Syndrome.'He/she says things which are just cruel' – complaints that Asperger Syndrome partner is harsh and mean when in fact it is simply a direct, verbal speaking style with a limited ability to read non-verbal cues.'He/she shows little interest in friends, family and socialising' – partner feels isolated; Asperger Syndrome partner may feel overwhelmed, anxious and require less social interaction.'I feel like I am going mad' – Asperger Syndrome partner may tell them that problems are their fault. Again, this is explainable by Asperger Syndrome (but Asperger Syndrome is not an excuse for bad behaviour) and can be worked on and improved).'When I cry he/she just stands there and does or says nothing' - no emotional support and lack of response when upset due to the person with Asperger Syndrome struggling to know how to 'fix' an emotional problem. Doing nothing is seen as better than doing the wrong thing for some people with Asperger Syndrome. A lack of deep understanding of Asperger Syndrome can lead to a partner feeling unimportant and unloved, although this is rarely the case. Our trainers and consultants are all highly trained, experienced and published authors in their field.

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Therefore, the ways in which they express and interpret feelings of closeness may be so unexpected (according to average, neurotypical standards) that this communication may be unnoticed or misinterpreted by their partners, For AS people, sharing a beloved special interest, with all its minutiae, may be a most intimate act.Those with Asperger Syndrome may communicate more for functional reasons rather than small talk and may feel overwhelmed after a day at work and require solitude.