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02-Mar-2017 15:23

“Because these stories are so tragic,” Kuczmarski says, “a lot of people don’t share them.” Joshua Coleman, is co-chair of the Council on Contemporary Families who runs a webinar for parents who want to improve relations with their adult children.

He sees so much of this problem that he calls parent/adult child estrangement a silent epidemic. And yet people are more than willing to share their stories online.

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“First you have to recognize what caused the rupture,” Kuczmarksi says, “and you might not like what you find.” Perhaps you, like Kay, crossed a line.

Or maybe you said or did something that your child experienced as deeply wounding even if you never intended to hurt her.

When we asked Adam what was going on, he just shrugged.

Then he said he was annoyed with for being so petty. Eventually Adam stopped visiting us too,” she continues.

(The stories are true, but the names have been changed.) To make matters worse, one afternoon, Jamie, who was 16 at the time, walked into the master bedroom at her boyfriend’s house and saw her mother having sex.The other possibility is that you might discover — or be forced to finally acknowledge — that something is “not quite right” with your child. He’ll pick a really expensive restaurant and I go along with it because I think, At the end of the meal, though, he’ll push his chair back, tell me how I ruined his life, call me a tightwad — even though I’m paying for dinner — and walk out in a huff.” Sometimes an adult child’s behavior is so bizarre that there might be a personality disorder or mental illness at play.Rick Casey, who refused to underwrite his son Evan’s fantasy of a post-college “year of spirituality,” cannot make peace with him a decade later. But I thought it would build his character if he worked for a bit and saved money to help finance it,” Casey says. Rick speculated, reluctantly, that his son may be clinically depressed since he hasn’t been able to stick with a job for more than a few months. Martha Reilly had a pretty good relationship with her son, Adam — until he got married.The stories are heart-wrenching — no matter how old the children, the parents want them back in their lives.

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